Reader's Corner

The Hourglass

Image Source: Michael Himbeault https://www.flickr.com/photos/riebart/4653728769

Chapter 1- Thoughts of a Dying Woman

From the moment we are born, we are all slowly emptying our hourglasses. My hourglass is running out.  Today. There is barely any sand left in the top and a whole lot of sand in the bottom. I’m staring at my hourglass and I don’t know how to feel. See in my world everyone knows their final hour and exactly how many hours until their fateful hour. I don't know if it makes us live better or worse.

We didn’t always know these things, but some very smart people in my world they've figure it out, how long each person will live, right at the start of their life. So we each are given these hourglasses and they are all running out. There is no way to refill them and we look at them every day in our homes. Well, some of us look at them. Others keep them hidden, tucked away. Different perspectives, you know? Some people want, in fact, need to know. It helps those people make “the most of their time”. Other people, like me, we need the freedom to not think about death. We need to become too busy, too engrossed in life, so that this ominous sign of our eventual demise isn’t pelting us in the face day after day.

I’ve lived most of my life not thinking about my hourglass (who cares, if you can’t control something you might as well not let it control you). I’m a lucky one. Blessed. Thankful. My hourglass was pretty full from the start, so I’ve had many moons to cultivate a beautiful life and not worry about my eventual death. I’m human, though. I’ve peeked under the floorboard (where my hourglass is hidden) every now and then. Checking to see if anything has changed. It’s remained unchanged. My whole life it has been a slow, gradual release of the sands of my life.  However, even with a long release, the sand eventually runs out.

I almost knew today was my day without looking at my hourglass. I thought about not looking at it at all, but I did. It’s time. I’m 82 years old. I feel ready and I’m not scared.

Some people become reckless as their hourglass is running out …they know they will be gone, so they don't want to have any regrets. Others go into death with a quiet peacefulness. Who's to judge which is right?

Anyhow, I wish I knew. Because as I said my hourglass is running out, today is MY last day. All I know is I can't sit and look at this silly hourglass with the sands slowly slipping away. Who wants to think about something they can't controlled? I'd rather relish in what I can control…

Some people announce their last day. Everyone seems to take pity on them and their last day is wrought with the sympathy of family and strangers a like. Can you really live your last day fully if everyone knows it is your last day? My hour glass has been hidden for years, so no one knows it's my last day, no one but me.

Anyway, you slice it. I'm a dead woman walking today.