Wishing Your Life Away...

“You’re wishing your life away…” my great grandmother would say to my mom when she expressed a wish for something in her life to pass quickly. The phrase resurfaced from time to time growing up with my mom. It stuck with me, even in the absence of my great grandmother and mother.

One day in college, my best friend and roommate was lamenting about an abundance of schoolwork that needed to be done and wishing for college to be over.

The words came back again and popped out of my mouth… “You’re wishing your life away…”

 I’m not sure how much she appreciated it. I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic or condescending. It just came to me, like a gift, as she was complaining about our workload. Her wish for our tedious work to be done was completely rational and made sense. I agreed.

However, I also knew that I really enjoyed living with her and that we would never get this time back. Like the seasons change, from fall to winter to spring and then summer, so would our current circumstances. We were (and are) confined by time.  Eventually, we would outgrow this stage of our life and go onto the next. As it should be. But we wouldn’t live together anymore.

Now I cherish the memories we made while living together and going to school.

Sometimes, we are so focused on getting to the next step that it seeps the joy out of the current moment. I’m definitely guilty of this because I tend to be future-focused… always planning what’s next. Who really knows what’s next?

I trust my great grandma.  She was right. Life is far too short to be wishing it away.

Tomorrow will come and then I will live tomorrow as today. We only ever get to live in ‘todays’.

Measured Time

Measure your time in

Many laughs with kindred souls

Before you wave "Bye".

My great grandmother had already lived the majority of her life. She was giving the best advice she could give to someone, who most likely had far more days and wishes left ahead than she did. Advice can be the most wonderful gift to give…

The days go by so quickly…

Have a wonderful weekend, full of laughs with kindred souls.

I know I will.

The Hourglass (Part I)

Image Source: Michael Himbeault https://www.flickr.com/photos/riebart/4653728769

The Hourglass

Chapter 1- Thoughts of a Dying Woman

From the moment we are born, we are all slowly emptying our hourglasses. My hourglass is running out.  Today. There is barely any sand left in the top and a whole lot of sand in the bottom. I’m staring at my hourglass and I don’t know how to feel. See in my world everyone knows their final hour and exactly how many hours until their fateful hour. I don't know if it makes us live better or worse.

We didn’t always know these things, but some very smart people in my world they've figure it out, how long each person will live, right at the start of their life. So we each are given these hourglasses and they are all running out. There is no way to refill them and we look at them every day in our homes. Well, some of us look at them. Others keep them hidden, tucked away. Different perspectives, you know? Some people want, in fact, need to know. It helps those people make “the most of their time”. Other people, like me, we need the freedom to not think about death. We need to become too busy, too engrossed in life, so that this ominous sign of our eventual demise isn’t pelting us in the face day after day.

I’ve lived most of my life not thinking about my hourglass (who cares, if you can’t control something you might as well not let it control you). I’m a lucky one. Blessed. Thankful. My hourglass was pretty full from the start, so I’ve had many moons to cultivate a beautiful life and not worry about my eventual death. I’m human, though. I’ve peeked under the floorboard (where my hourglass is hidden) every now and then. Checking to see if anything has changed. It’s remained unchanged. My whole life it has been a slow, gradual release of the sands of my life.  However, even with a long release, the sand eventually runs out.

I almost knew today was my day without looking at my hourglass. I thought about not looking at it at all, but I did. It’s time. I’m 82 years old. I feel ready and I’m not scared.

Some people become reckless as their hourglass is running out …they know they will be gone, so they don't want to have any regrets. Others go into death with a quiet peacefulness. Who's to judge which is right?

Anyhow, I wish I knew. Because as I said my hourglass is running out, today is MY last day. All I know is I can't sit and look at this silly hourglass with the sands slowly slipping away. Who wants to think about something they can't controlled? I'd rather relish in what I can control…

Some people announce their last day. Everyone seems to take pity on them and their last day is wrought with the sympathy of family and strangers a like. Can you really live your last day fully if everyone knows it is your last day? My hour glass has been hidden for years, so no one knows it's my last day, no one but me.

Anyway, you slice it. I'm a dead woman walking today.